Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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