My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
be right there i have to get my cape
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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