Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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