im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize