Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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