A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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