Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Too much gin, very little bucket
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize