HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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