Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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