That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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