so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize