The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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