I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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