I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
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no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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