im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
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I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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