3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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