i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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