you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize