Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What a dumb baby whore.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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