Me too!
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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