I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
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