oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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