belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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