Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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