Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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