Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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