I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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