Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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