idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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