You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
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How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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