My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize