Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
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Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
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He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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