so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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