final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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