Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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