He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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