You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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