Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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