i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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