he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
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Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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