My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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