I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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