you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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