mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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