so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
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Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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