Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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