wakey wakey hands off snakey
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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