I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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