Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
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She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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