i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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